So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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