After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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