ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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