when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
