You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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