My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
