We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
