he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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