she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize