Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize