There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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