Nicole vs. Life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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