Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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