After last night, I could never be a politician.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
