I think my fart just growled at me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
only if we run a train.
done.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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