Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
