Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
wat bout pragnant strippers??
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Im part way to drunk.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
