Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
