everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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