Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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