There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
