Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
operation have a gay friend backfired
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
