problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
