sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
