Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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