How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
