she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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