I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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