I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
