My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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