wakey wakey hands off snakey
Soap is not a condiment
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
