was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
