a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
