Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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