So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
