So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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