So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
