Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
