My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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