the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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