If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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