Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
