Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
