is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
