The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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