I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Boobs speak an international language.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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