Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
