My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
