I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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