I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
