Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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