can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
