if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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