i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His hands were made for my vagina.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
