kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
