and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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