Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
