You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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