I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
