Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
