Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
